The Road to Anti-Bitchiness
by WeasleysGroupie
Summary: "It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see" Caroline wants to be a better person. She struggles when vampires move to town.


**a/n - **okay, so, I'm taking down "Struggling" (because reasons) and re-writing it into a one-shot (which isn't this if you didn't gather that) and this is sort of the same thing, only different. Yup, I usually make about that much sense. I said I'd upload this one while ye wait (if ye decide to, anyway) for "Struggling". Yay? Whoopee! It's all rainbows and unicorns in my head now. I should really get that checked..  
**Quote -** "I'm a terrible, awful person. But I'm working on it" ~ Caroline Forbes.  
**Disclaimer -** I do not own TVD but if I did there would be actual logic and, most probably, Matt Smith.

* * *

**The Road to Anti-Bitchiness**

**Part 1**

What does she get for staying up all night and watching crime show re-runs? A freaking _conscience_.

"I-I just stood there," the redhead on the screen sobs. Here's an idea, _move_, maybe help your dying brother.

"I-I let him d-die," she breaks down now "and it felt good," she covers her make-up plastered face with her hands like she is disgusted by the thought of seeing their repulsed faces. She should be. He was her brother. She didn't help him, she let her selfish, spiteful, revenge-loving self watch on as he needed her. The blonde shakes her head as she watches the old woman's shoulders wobble up and down. Caroline felt no pity for the bitch. How can you even begin to like someone if they enjoyed something so...selfish? The woman stood aside, all smug, and watched as someone she loved hurt physically and emot— _oh_.

* * *

"I want a job," her smile only _kind of _falters when the glass topples out of Matt's hand. It's really not that hard to believe... _right_?

"You what?" she bends down to help him pick up the pieces, because _hey, _she's being a better person now. And that's what good people do—they help. And work for minimum wage in the nearest place willing to take them. What? She's following Matt's example, because who's a better person than Matt Donovan? Okay, Oprah. Maybe that other— okay, who's a better person _who she actually has a chance of getting to help her_ than Matt Donovan? Nobody, that's who.

"I would like to fill the permanent 'help wanted' sign," she smiles confidently, thinking; is it too late to back out now?

"Really, Caroline?" why is he looking at her like that? All boyish and judging-you-even-though-you're-helping-me-clean-what-could-potentially-kill-people-y.

"Yes, really." she licks her lips and contemplates telling him the truth. Good people tell the truth, right? He skilfully pops the glass into the bin and turns his attention back to her. Here goes nothin'. "I—" she looks around 'The Grill' and then, satisfied nobody is listening, she leans a little closer to Matt. "I'm...shallow." she breaths a sigh of relief and he looks at her like she hasn't just told him the biggest plot twist ever.

"And..." he motions for her to continue and she gapes at him.

"And I want to fix it," she hisses and the corners of his lips twitch slightly. Alright. Calm Caroline. Very, extremely, calm Caroline.

"Okay," he smiles, quite genuinely. She feels proud, it was the first time she had seen him look non-broody since the horrendous Elena heartbreak. Good Caroline can work - unfortunately literally.

* * *

She decides to wear less make-up to school. Caroline cringes as images of the middle aged, sobbing redhead invades her mind. There was absolutely no way she was going to let that be her future, hence cleansing her soul to a likeable one. She spots Elena and Bonnie conversing by their lockers. Or someone's locker, she guessed it was one of theirs though. They were standing by it, that was clue number one. What are you doing you chicken? Go talk to them.

"Hey," smooth Caroline.

"Hi," Bonnie greets her with a tightlipped smile. Elena nods. Well, thanks for noticing my presence, bi— No. No, she is one of your best friends and she is grieving. You shall be nice, Forbes. You shall even if it kills you. They're staring. Quickly, do something Matt-like.

"Your spot on the team is still saved if you want it back," pathetic Caroline.

"Uh, sure. Yeah, no, I...I will. I will," Elena looks like she's trying to reassure herself more than anyone else. Bonnie looks wary though. Sorry Bon, it's the brain's fault.

"Practice is Saturday, regular time but if you wanted I could cancel and we could just meet and get you up to speed on the routines," yeah, that's a nice thing to do, right?

"Y-you'd do that...for me?" Elena and Bonnie share a surprised look which she pretends not to see.

"There's no 'i' in team, Elena." Is there? What— no. Ugh, she is delirious. Being nice is hard. "Plus, it's been forever since the three of us hung out. We could go to The Grill after and get something to eat?" She smiles and scratches her nose. Elena frowns and opens her mouth to answer. Seriously, Caroline? Forgotten the super doper heart-wrenching awkward break-up already? Some friend you are. "Unless you're still avoiding Matt," Caroline cuts in because God forbid she does something stupid like _breathe_.

"No. You know what, today, today is going to be a good day," Elena nods her head and Caroline can tell Bonnie's not buying her confidence either. "You know Caroline, when you walked over I thought you were going to ask me if I was 'okay'?" Elena laughs feebly. Oh God, is that code to ask now? Is she okay? No Caroline, don't be silly, of course she's not.

"What's the point of asking a question you already know the answer to?" they look at her like she has grown up. And she thinks, with a little more training, she might be able to.

* * *

She actually listened in class today, and she learned. She learned that the new guy is a history whizz—or a smartass, depending on how you look at it—and Mr. Tanner has a vein on his forehead bigger than Amy Bradley's butt.

* * *

Matt closes early Friday. He says he wants to teach her everything before she starts her first ever shift Monday evening.

She didn't think there would actually be customers then but she doesn't say.

* * *

Saturday goes splendidly. Once she loosened up with Elena and Bonnie she felt right at home. They were three puzzle pieces that slipped together effortlessly. She was glad she decided to un-bitch herself because for the first time she felt like she had real friends.

"Elena, you're a natural," she compliments her friend and watches the brunette try hide the little red spots on her cheeks

"Plus your ass looks _good_ in short-shorts," Bonnie winks and the three musketeers giggle as they head to the car.

"Not as good as Caroline's," Elena winks playfully and Caroline smiles and wonders when the last time someone gave her a compliment was. She's glad she has Elena and Bonnie.

* * *

"He's broody," Bonnie rolls her eyes.

"It's sexy," Elena argues.

"I like his hair," Caroline comments.

"He looks like the type to dwell on it," Bonnie slurps her drink.

"No, he looks hot." Elena plays with her straw while not-so-discretely checking the new guy out.

"He's bad news," Bonnie does her concerned friend head tilt "What do you really know about him?"

"His name is Stefan Salvatore. He lives with his uncle up at the old Salvatore boarding house. He hasn't lived here since he was a kid. Military family, so they moved around a lot. He's a Gemini and his favourite colour is blue," Okay, so Caroline kind of stalked him. But that was before she knew Elena liked him! He's totally off limits now.

"I know _that_," Elena smirks and high-fives Caroline.

"Still, too many secrets." Bonnie scolds, waving her straw with each word and sprinkling Elena in sprite. Caroline hands her a napkin - because she actually knows how to use things around this place now.

"He's attractive, new, cool, mystery guy." Elena pouts and pats herself dry.

"Like Edward Cullen," Caroline plays with her drink innocently "Don't stand in front of a fan in Science and lock your windows," she winks at them. Bonnie chortles and Elena sticks out her tongue. Caroline glances at said Salvatore and she swears she sees him smirk. She shakes her head, he couldn't possibly have heard her.

They sip their drinks while watching the Salvatore show and Matt keeps giving her secret looks, like, because working here means she's in some sort of secret brotherhood that requires her to tell him all. Which, she realises, is probably true.

* * *

She eats in silence. She misses her mother sometimes. Most times. All the time. She decides to learn the seven billion menus Matt gave her. Her Maths homework can wait until later. Also, she vows to never again attempt to cook lasagne as eating a scab is something you can only indulge in once.

* * *

Monday comes and, no surprise, Elena is dating Stefan. Caroline wonders why she doesn't feel that usual burning in her stomach like she usually does when Elena has something she doesn't. She blames it on nerves, it's her first shift tonight.

* * *

Everyone gives her pitying looks and asks her if her mom lost her job. Caroline shakes her head and tells them "What goes around, comes around," and they give her that look again, like she's grown up. But during her small-talk with the customers, chats with Matt between serving and patiently waiting for orders, she judges. She judges and she can't help it. Those little thoughts pass her head. Those little Caroline thoughts. Those neurotic, selfish, bitchy thoughts. And she tries to stop them, but she can't. And it's okay she thinks, she thinks it's okay because she hasn't grown up. Not completely anyway. Not yet.

* * *

It becomes an everyday thing. Even her mom asks her, when she sees her, 'How was work today?'. She has extra money now, she never really thought about that part before. Her and Matt each have a tip jar. Caroline is good at talking so people feel more obliged to give her money, as they think she's making a special effort. She doesn't tell anyone but she sneaks half of hers into Matt's. It's simple really, he needs it and she doesn't. Not yet anyway. She thinks he knows because when he takes his jar at the end of the night he has this little smile on his face. She doesn't want to draw attention to it. She wants to be generous, like Matt was with her. After all he didn't have to give her that job or spend all those nights training her. Caroline thinks she's better now, _good_ now. But then it all goes wrong.

* * *

**TBC**


End file.
